Assume competence. This is a mantra that Kiran and I have been trying to live by when it comes to Revi. I often have to remind myself, that although I do my best to understand Revi and know what he wants or what he needs, ultimately he is the only one who knows his own thoughts and desires. Just because Revi does not express them in ways that I understand, does not mean he lacks opinions. My job as Revi’s mom is to give him opportunities to share his thoughts, to be creative in my listening methods, attune myself to his communication and find a way to join worlds with him. This is not something that has been taught to me by any medical professional, therapist or agency. This is how I’ve decided I need to guide Revi through this world. Although Revi does not respond to me with speech, I still talk to him and tell him what we are doing, where we are going, the friends we plan to see or why we can’t swing in the hammock for 3 hours straight. He cannot read my mind and therefore it only makes sense to communicate to him, like I would with anyone else. Through our constant jabbering and narration, I know that this year alone Revi’s receptive language has grown. He will walk straight for the front door and open it, if I ask him if he wants to go outside. If he’s crying and I ask if he wants to listen to his music (right now it’s 24/7 drumlines), he will stop crying and go sit on the couch. We are communicating, but we are also still learning each other’s language. For years we have been working on Revi’s expressive language. I think he is capable of expressing his thoughts, but we need to find a common language that we can share. In the video above, you can see that Revi is telling me that he wants more food by clapping. This makes me feel SO proud, not only because it’s something we have been working on, but because it means that Revi is making his thoughts known and I understand him. We are in tune with each other. Assuming competence is not always easy to put into practice, but Revi deserves this most basic form of respect and I certainly owe it to him.